BANG.CRASH.SHATTER

today we were in a three car accident.
my sister julie.
myself.
and eden.

sitting in the chiropractor's parking lot
waiting to turn onto the main road/two-lane highway...

BANG... mini-van into pick-up truck
CRASH... pick-up truck into the back driver's side door of julie's car
SHATTER... the back car-door window into the back seat

where eden was in her car-seat.

this is the second car accident eden has been in...
almost 6 months apart.
its terrifying.
it catches your heart and squeezes the breath out of you.

the first accident we were in six months ago, we were rear-ended.
leaving our first chiropractic appointment.
we had no idea.
it wasn't awful. barely a scratch.
but scary.

NOTHING COMPARED TO TODAY.

the blue pick-up had his turn signal on,
slowed down.
waved for us to go.

julie and i both saw the gold mini-van
not stopping behind him.

i can't remember who said what
but these words were uttered,
"shes going to hit him."
"oh-no"

and she barreled into him
going close to 40 mph.
which threw his truck into julie's car.

the sound of shattered glass is one you never want to hear.
we heard it. felt it.

then the most bittersweet
gut-wretching cry of your child.

sweet. because you know she can scream.
gut-wretching. because you can't get to her fast enough.

there was broken glass everywhere.
i tried to get her out of the car seat.
julie had to twist around to unbuckle the top of eden's belt.

i had her in my arms,
praying she was ok.
telling her it was going to be just fine.

asking if everyone was ok.

our amazing chiropractor came outside and made sure all was ok.
took eden and me back inside.
i was shaking so bad, i could barely open eden's sweater.

they had to help pick pieces of glass out of her hair.
she took eden and told me to go outside to check on julie.
[these people i trust with my child like i do my own family]

i walked outside.
julie's door can't open.
there is glass over the pavement.
the front end of the truck
smashed into the back of julie's car.
the woman's van is leaking engine fluid.

i look at julie.
a fellow chiropractic patient is standing at the passenger side door
talking to her.
asking if she can do anything.

she asks me,
have we taken pictures yet?

i grab my phone,
but still don't have any space to take photos.
julie gives me her phone
i cant even press the open button.

that is when this woman,
this stranger,
puts her hand on my shoulder
and gives me permission to cry.

i keep saying
"everyone is okay.
 thats all that matters."

she reminds me,
"yes. but it is still okay to cry."
so i did.

the anxiety
adrenaline
fear...
the realization that just a couple more inches towards the front of the car
julie would have been seriously injured.
just a few inches back,
we would have been swung into traffic.
if eden was not in the middle seat...
oh God. i am still reeling on that one.

i know that we are safe.
that its just a car.

but it was two of the most important people
that could have been taken from me in an instant.

thank God for your protection.
it could have been so much worse.
thank God for the car-seat that i complain about,
it shielded and secured my daughter.
thank God no one was injured.
not even a scratch.

yes the whole window came in the car
glass in my daughters hair
not one cut, scrape, or scratch on her or anyone else.

hold your babies tight tonight.
i know i will.

xoxo,
kate