CURRENTLY KATE

i have struggled writing this for almost...
umm...
three months?!

how much do i share... will people understand...
im scared. im embarrassed.
then, after MANY MANY prayers,
conversations with family, friends, business mentors,
hubs, our midwife... even the littles...
not to mention some pretty indescribable divine interventions ;)
it clicked.

THIS IS THE WHOLE REASON I STARTED BLOGGING.
THIS IS THE WHOLE REASON I STARTED MY BUSINESS.
THIS IS THE WHOLE REASON I CHOOSE TO SHARE OUR LIFE.

to be a light.
to share the good, the struggle, the in between...
to share life.

so without further ado...
CURRENTLY KATE.

i haven't shared much of this pregnancy.
in part to chasing two other little ones, moving, house projects...
and also building a business...
i have become very introverted with this pregnancy.
a lot of self reflection.
who am i. what do i need to work on. what areas of our life need attention.
what are areas that are no longer serving...
but also... i have had a really hard time connecting with this little one...
until recently.

i was reassured that this happens. nothing is wrong with me. or little one.
but i felt like a terrible mama.
who doesn't connect with their own baby?!
i experienced some of this with little dude...
after solomon was born, it took me a few weeks to connect with him.
i wanted it so badly. sometimes i forced and lied to myself that i was ok.
but there was this gaping space between him and i.
its hard to describe...
maybe it was partly the postpartum depression.
maybe it was the six weeks of prodromal labor that left me so exhausted i couldn't connect with anyone,
let alone this little being who was depending on me SOLEY... you know..
to keep him alive and healthy?! regardless of the fog around me.

then, we were chosen for the Sakura Bloom Sling Diaries...
thats when things started shifting... really started looking up.
it was almost as if God knew I needed something that would MAKE me slow down.
draw inward... search my heart...
those six months brought so much clarity.
so much personal development and growth...
i was finally connecting to not only solomon,
but i was connecting better with eden, with ryan more...
even myself.

2016 has been a whirlwind for not only our little nest, but our entire family.
when we found out about this little one...
we were completely surprised.
life turned upside down.
[again i PROMISE that post is coming! BEFORE the end of this year!!]

it has just been lately that things have slowed down enough that i can finally breathe...
it also might be because this little one has finally dropped! ;)
the fog is clearing and i can see the light.

over the next two weeks...
i will be sharing... ALOT.
house updates.
pregnancy updates.
business updates.
heck you will be getting A TON OF UPDATES.
partly because i want to share and connect with you lovelies,
but the main part...
I NEED TO.
my soul needs to.

so as the ramblings of CURRENTLY KATE will continue,
i hope that you will join me for the journey.
that you will see and hear my heart.
that through this holiday season, you will join me in my reflections.

so much love to you all.
may you be blessed over these next few weeks...
xoxo,
Kate