and while my blog was in the process of being updated...
it never posted here on the blog! oops!
so we might be a little late,
but im sure that this will speak to most of your hearts.
so... all the love to you!
im so excited to share with you a project i am a part of with Tula... #tulawanderlust
i struggled a lot with what i wanted to share with you all. i had so many different ideas, paths i imagined i would take you with me on... but nothing ever really felt right. i prayed and prayed, wanting to make sure that the words i chose would touch and feed your soul. then the day we took these photos, the truth i myself needed most to hear, is what inspired my words. around 7pm, i took a shower, my blow dryer broken [from a previous spark fire] and too late in the day for make up, i threw on my most comfortable outfit [the one you will 99% meet me in person in!] told my husband we were making a change... right here right now.
lately life has been brutal. exhausting. emotionally. physically. mentally. spiritually. when i lay down at night i am so drained and broken i wonder how will i have strength for tomorrow. i look at my husband who works so incredibly hard to support our family, who takes the time to play ponies with eden, have crazy dance parties with solomon... and makes sure i take breaks for me without my even asking. i look at our daughter who is blossoming before our very eyes. who still asks for "her carrier snuggles"... who at the sweet age of three can recognize when she needs just a little more closeness to calm all those emotions. whose sweet and tender heart is always looking to nurture. "those bees need nectar mama" "and the worms need dirt daddy"... and then our solomon. for those who have met him... you know he is one of a kind. always on a mission. determined and strong at just 15 months old. and has brought me to my knees in tears over how to care for his demanding ways. but just one smile from this little dude electrifies your soul. his joy just pours out of him.
the bond they share is truly inspiring. no one can make our solomon thor light up like eden. she gives life to all she meets. smiles and hugs, laughter and many stories... that little delight she is. she begs for trips to target, to stay outside, play in the rain... and there along side her... little dude. pitter-pattering along. ill never forget the first time i wore them both... you know "tandem-wearing"... i hesitated because i was unsure how they both would react... and i was so surprised when games of hide and seek began. solomon searching for his sister... her "PEEK-A-BOO" producing giggles from them both that i swear makes the flowers bloom brighter. salve to this mama soul. its moments like this i realize... its time to slow down.
i decided that we would spend our evenings before bed, on a walk... down two houses to the river. that along the way we would say goodnight to the trees, the flowers, the bees. that we would inhale deeply the sweetness of the last rays from the sun. listen to the moving river, docks swaying and birds chirping their good-night song. we would welcome the moon and stars to watch over us while we slept. we would soak in the precious moments of childhood our littles are so quickly growing through. we would begin our bedtime prayers outside... together. our little nest.
im so glad ryan... aka hubs and daddy... took these photos. that it worked out the way that it did. littles in jammies, mama her bare-faced, comfy self, and daddy capturing these precious moments. while looking through which ones to choose, i was hit with this truth... "these littles are gifts. blessings that are so deserving of every moment we have. that crave just mama. just daddy. just family. that all they really need is love. in each and every way that we can give it. that these arrows in our quiver will fly fast and strong. and soon they will be on their own journey. it will be that love, those moments, that spur them on."
in life we are met with challenges and crossroads. sometimes hard decisions that break our hearts. that crush our dreams. we have no control over the circumstances. the only control we possess is that of how we respond. lately i have experienced, in life personally and through social media, the viciousness of selfish, greedy, hateful and down right mean actions. i have been hurt and angry beyond words. but when the tears are falling, my spirit pricks my heart and quietly speaks one answer to my soul... "to love". this is usually when eden will come over and bring me a carrier and ask for cuddles. her sweet heart just impresses it further on my heart... that love really does have the power to inspire change.
we never know the battles others are facing. heck, i barely can tell you the battles my own littles face at time... but one thing i have quickly realized [especially with solomon] is that when we are so overwhelmed, so tired, and so drained, as soon as we STOP. breathe. hold each other. look into each others eyes... just be still. and say "i love you. im here." most of the time i will grab a carrier and wrap us together so we can breathe together. and all that stress, disorder... it all starts to melt away. the love overtakes your weary spirit. priorities shift. importance of just being is illuminated. how many moments have we rushed through... to accomplish what? a clean house. a 30 min grocery run [HA!] what if we were to just stop. to look our littles in the eye and REALLY listen. to just hold them as long as you can, until they pull away... or fall asleep. how many melt-downs would cease. how many special words would we hear. how full would our own heart become.
lets take that one step further. when's the last time you really looked a stranger in the eye. took the time to stop and listen. really engage with someone. to love someone. when's the last time you told YOURSELF you love you?.... again, life is busy and frantic at times... but maybe its time to take a step back. to determine if its just the circumstances of life, or is really ourself standing in our own way? i hope to encourage you to slow down. to hold your littles close. let them show you how to love. how to love yourself a little more. to see yourself through their eyes... not your own. you are not worthless. you are not inadequate. you are not lacking. you are fierce. you are brave. you are powerful. you are beautiful. you are glowing. you are the walking, talking, physical tower of love. just ask your littles... they will tell you the truth. thank you so much for letting me share a part of my heart with you. i hope you find yourself encouraged and inspired. now go hug your littles and look in the mirror and say, "i love you."
xoxo, Kate
