It hits hard and fast. You feel like your tossed and turned and then slammed into a brick wall only to be run over by a train.
Yes. Life is hard.
When these moments hit me,
I tend to get overwhelmed and irritable.
say things I don't mean.
Lately I've been trying to be more aware of how I respond.
to the things I have no control over.
because if I'm honest... The only thing I can control is how I react.
Most of the time when I ignore how I am feeling, things blow up.
I'm working on getting better at realizing when I'm stressed and need a time-out.
I used to think that made me weak.
that it showed I couldn't cope.
that i can't handle life.
But that's where I was wrong.
It takes strength to admit you need a time-out.
a break. it takes strength to actually do it.
my family has been awesome at helping me in those moments.
taking Eden for an hour or two, so I can take a shower.
a nap. a walk. or just to sit in my room. alone.
a couple weeks ago, Ryan had flowers and a book in our room with strict instructions that I was to stay in that room and he would watch Eden until she needed to eat. I got four hours of relaxing and a much needed nap.
that spoke to me.
while it was sweet and thoughtful of him, it made me realize that he saw a need.
a need that I didn't recognize. that I was afraid to admit I needed space.
that I needed alone time.
I don't do well with alone. Ask any of my family.
We are known for our frequent bathroom talks, to bombard eachother while someone is taking a shower.
(most of the time it's me coming in!)
I felt guilty that I needed space from Eden.
that it somehow made me a bad mom.
A bad person.
And that's when it hit me. Sitting in our room alone...
Other mama's warned me, but I didn't believe them.
"take time for you" they said.
How could I not want to have Eden with me all the time?
Who doesn't want to be around there child 24/7?
Well, it's true. You need time for you.
How can you take care of everyone else if you neglect yourself?
I stay at home. I still exclusively nurse Eden. I run our family.
I take care of a little human! That takes a lot more out of you than you think.
Its like your bank account:
if I'm not putting money in, I'm going to eventually run out... Right? Same concept.
so i encourage you. take time for you.
whether that's an uninterrupted shower.
reading a book. a cup of tea, or hot chocolate this season.
a nap. a walk by yourself...
invest in you.
trust me... everyone will thank you for it!
xoxo,
kate
LOVE this post! I really needed to hear it. I'm so glad you shared it, Kate. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteI am so glad that it spoke to you. that is my hope through this blog... :)
DeleteAgain you are helping me. I have been feeling those exact things. Guilty for not wanting to be around my son, guilty that I need to pass him off at times. Guilty that he sometimes gets a bottle, even if it is breast milk.
ReplyDeleteI know I need to take care of me. Trying to remember that is the hard part. Doing it is even harder.
angela,
Deletei am sorry i just saw this comment!
i am so glad i can help. :) it is hard to take care of yourself. little steps, one thing at a time. it will become second nature... at least thats what i am told.
please feel free to email me if you need some support and need someone to talk to. :)